(Never mind the sad looking picture, it's one of the only decent pictures I had on my computer)
So finally after all this pondering, last night I had a dream that Matt left me and had remarried within a week . I remember being especially devastated when his new wife said that they were saving up to buy a new couch. I felt so betrayed, and I thought "That should be my couch, and my savings, and my husband." The only other specific memory I have is of texting Matt to say that I missed his casserole (euphemism?). I woke from the dream feeling so sad, and it wasn't until I told Matt about it several hours later that I really started to feel better.
The past few weeks and last night's dream have made me realize that I would do anything to keep my marriage intact. We are definitely imperfect people, and we really get on each other's nerves sometimes, but nothing makes me happier or more fulfilled than being with my little family. I can't even imagine how painful it would be to lose that. The sad thing is, I don't express these feelings to my husband often enough. I get caught up in the busyness of every day life and forget to really appreciate him. So I'm glad I had that terrible dream because it reminded me just how lucky I am. Thanks honey for being my family, I sure love ya.
6 comments:
The title of your post caught my eye. I can totally relate. So many friends and family members of mine are being destroyed by divorce recently. It makes me so sad, yet SO unbelievably grateful for such a wonderful husband and the gospel in my life. So glad you have one too!
I have had a lot of loved ones that have been going through divorces and it is so sad! There is so much heartbreak and it makes me realize even more how important it is to not neglect my marriage! By the way, your new little boy is adorable! I will have to come see him in person sometime!
marci! never title a post like that again! I was so bothered for the half second until i realized it wasn't something you guys were doing. thank goodness. my world would fall apart if you guys got divorced too!
marci! never title a post like that again! I was so bothered for the half second until i realized it wasn't something you guys were doing. thank goodness. my world would fall apart if you guys got divorced too!
Absolutely understand your feelings (minus the motherhood portion). This divorce in Adam's family, though it's a second for them, it's a first for me. I actually just wrote a blog about this too. So strange. I'm glad you two are not getting a divorce! You are so wonderful together! Love you guys!
believe me, sometimes divorce is necessary and better for the children. To get a little personal I thought it wasn't fair that my marriage wasn't working, I was fighting for it to be fixed, and I was so mad at Heavenly Father when he wasn't fixing it, when I was doing all the right things. That's because we all have free agency, it's part of life. Trials are part of life. Some of us have to go through divorce, others have to deal with cancer. Both are crappy. Both make you feel like you've hit rock bottom. BUT...when you fight your way back, you are SO much happier than you ever thought possible. Happier for yourself, for your children and everyone else involved.
I thought I would do everything. I thought I did do everything. Sometimes doing everything still isn't enough in this life.
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