Dec 13, 2010


(Never mind the sad looking picture, it's one of the only decent pictures I had on my computer)

It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Not contemplating for myself, just thinking about the subject in general. It just makes me so sad to think about families breaking up, and I find myself wondering how Heavenly Father can possibly make it right. What happens after this life to family relationships that were disrupted by divorce? How do single mothers do it, anyway? I can barely handle two kids even when Matt is around to help.

So finally after all this pondering, last night I had a dream that Matt left me and had remarried within a week . I remember being especially devastated when his new wife said that they were saving up to buy a new couch. I felt so betrayed, and I thought "That should be my couch, and my savings, and my husband." The only other specific memory I have is of texting Matt to say that I missed his casserole (euphemism?). I woke from the dream feeling so sad, and it wasn't until I told Matt about it several hours later that I really started to feel better.

The past few weeks and last night's dream have made me realize that I would do anything to keep my marriage intact. We are definitely imperfect people, and we really get on each other's nerves sometimes, but nothing makes me happier or more fulfilled than being with my little family. I can't even imagine how painful it would be to lose that. The sad thing is, I don't express these feelings to my husband often enough. I get caught up in the busyness of every day life and forget to really appreciate him. So I'm glad I had that terrible dream because it reminded me just how lucky I am. Thanks honey for being my family, I sure love ya.